My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize