Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
