I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
