I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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