Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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