Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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