I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
