Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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