is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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