I wish I could punch you in the face.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
