she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
