dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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