Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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