I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
