i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
