Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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