Your dad touched me again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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