Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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