Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
