It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
