just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
