She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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