I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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