just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
