It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
worst night to have a conscience
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
