Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
