So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
