Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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