Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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