At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
