I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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