in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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