U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
