I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
