why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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