I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I deserve this hangover.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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