I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
