please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
