We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
