Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
