she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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