I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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