on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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