trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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