I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
