For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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