I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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