Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
