laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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