Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
