JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
