so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
