Kiss
Puke
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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