I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
