i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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