so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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