Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
