I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Hippo gnu deer
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize