guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
