He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
