So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Last time i carry you out of a forest
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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