Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
